Every time I sweep, vacuum, and mop the floors in our house, I find other tiny particles of dust, dirt and or dog hair within 5 minutes of being done cleaning.
It drives me nuts. It’s a never ending fact of life. We clean, things get dirty again.
As I was cleaning yesterday, I realized the floor is just like our minds.
Once we get in the habit of being aware of our thoughts, the next step is to be curious about them and tidy up our minds so that our thoughts, beliefs and ideas are in line with our values and our goals. The mind, however, likes to be efficient, so if there’s a pattern of unhelpful thoughts (anxious, negative, doubtful) they need to be swept up, just like dirt on the floor.
This, as well, is an unending process. And it requires more frequent attention at first (like a house that’s never been cleaned), but, just like a room that’s cleaned regularly, it takes less time and effort if you keep it up regularly.
So, if you want crave less stress, more joy, a habit of focus or productivity, start cleaning up your thoughts and beliefs.
A clean mind gets you weight loss, health, organization, time management and balance.
We went camping this weekend. It was a new adventure for us. We planned and executed this idea. My husband was ecstatic. I haven’t camped since I was a kid.
We made a list. We packed. We ended up forgetting our pillows because they weren’t by the front door. We laughed. It happens.
Then we started setting up camp. It was awkward. It was unfamiliar. I think we’ve all had that experience where something is brand new. And going through the process (in this case unpacking and setting camp up) was unfamiliar. And strange. And it’s easy to let the discomfort of this overwhelm you (I did).
And make you cranky. And want to give up. That’s how I felt after my 18th trip through each side of the car looking for 1 thing. Then repeating. Over and over.
This time though…I was consciously aware of the discomfort. And I breathed through it (not perfectly mind you…I felt a tantrum coming on… and luckily my chillaxed hubby talked me down).
And although I was uncomfortable, I also was excited.
I had two opposite feelings coexisting. And I was aware of both. Plus I felt anxious.
The point? Learning new things is uncomfortable. There will be awkwardness. The key to mastery and experience is allowing that obstacle of awkward discomfort and not letting it stop you.
Allow it, expect it, feel it, that’s how you know you’re doing it right and growing.
We had a fantastic time. S’mores and all.
I can’t wait for the next camping adventure.
You can do this with anything you want to try.
Try something new.
Move through that discomfort and see if you can watch your progress.
Change is always a little scary. So how do we change when we feel that paralyzing fear and worry and then god-forbid we start making changes and our brain kicks in… and OMG, the overwhelming anxiety and what if’s creep in…
The question is:
HOW DO ACTUALLY WE CHANGE WHEN THE THOUGHT OF IT IS SCARY?
Fear and doubt and worry hold so many people back; no doubt you’ve considered doing something* and held back out of fear.
*Examples include leaving or taking a job, going on a date, meeting a new person, trying a new sport, lifting a heavier weight, ending a toxic relationship, etc
Consider that fear is your brain’s natural response to ANYTHING new or different. Our brains are trained to seek pleasure, avoid pain and be efficient. Our brain always has our back to protect us from that evolutionary threat… the dangerous animal outside our cave. Now that we’ve evolved? It’s still working all the time, but only has time to flex when we want to do something that most likely ISN’T going to kill us (daredevils, I’m excluding you).
I know there are definitely things you wanted in the past and pushed through the discomfort of fear and the unknown to experience, like a new relationship, job, school, haircut or sport.
We all have, our else we’d never grow or change.
Doing new things may always be slightly scary. If you are willing to accept this and still move forward, you can create whatever you desire in your life.
THIS one skill is the key to freedom from the “what ifs”:
✅ Picture what you want to do
✅ Create a plan that makes it possible
✅ Expect and allow the discomfort and fear and anxiety about trying something new and different (thanks brain!)
✅ Execute plan then evaluate and adjust it as needed until goal accomplished
✅ Repeat as needed
We always think we need to feel comfortable and competent and motivated to take action toward a new goal but all of these emotions come from how we frame what we want – we actually create these emotions with our thoughts and beliefs about our idea.
You can allow your fear and accept it and move through that discomfort to achieve new things. You’ve done it before – you can do it again. So get out there and do it!
Have you been diagnosed with or self-diagnosed with adrenal fatigue? Do you know that it’s a made-up diagnosis? That it doesn’t exist? And if you were diagnosed with it, you’re actually being treated with COMMON SENSE? . I wish I was kidding. If your adrenal glands weren’t producing enough steroid – you’d be dead or in a coma. If you hackles are coming up – either you’re making a profit off this “diagnosis” or you’re resisting the circumstance that this is a “lifestyle” diagnosis – your LIFESTYLE is causing you stress and it’s wearing you DOWN because you’ve been IGNORING your body. This is the opposite of thriving in life. . If you’re feeling worn down, tired, stressed out (likely you were stressing your body and brain, right?), and just generally gross – guess what – you weren’t taking care of your body and it’s SCREAMING AT YOU TO SLOW DOWN. Overeating? Overexercising? Overworking? Overthinking? . And how is this “adrenal fatigue” entity treated? Whole food nutrition (who would have thunk – fruits and vegetables, lean protein, whole food starches, healthy fats), sleep, REST/meditation, hydration, and vitamins to support all of the above? What? And you may be paying for some supplement that your healthcare provider sold you for cash, right? Because it’s going to “support” your adrenal glands (that were functioning just fine previously thank you very much). . There are few things that get me this riled up. But this “diagnosis” really butters my biscuits. I see patients EVERY DAY that are worn down, tired, stressed, and feel like poop. And guess what – this stress can affect your body, it can be a contributing factor to autoimmune disease. Where your own immune system starts attacking YOU. And then they end up in my office. Sometimes with disease, sometimes (luckily) not. And let me be clear – the autoimmune diseases that I see have a multitude of causes, stress is just one of them. I would never wish any of these diseases on anyone.
When you have symptoms of fatigue and stress and you feel worn out, most likely you are not listening to what your body needs. It likely isn’t your fault either. In our fast-paced world, moving slowly, methodically and taking care of yourself can seem selfish, useless, or wasteful. If you knew that your lifestyle could shorten your life or cause you a chronic disease – would you change it now? Before it’s too late?
For your own health – I implore you… SLOW DOWN. Listen to your body. Trust it, for once. It’s trying to tell you something. Maybe you need sleep, maybe you need a vacation, maybe you need to feed it better quality foods, maybe you just need to stop. Breathe in and out. Stop running away from yourself.
Your brain is likely constantly racing, constantly searching, always on go mode. Sound familiar?
However you decide to choose to thrive and improve your life – realize that it is YOUR choice. Whatever you decide to call your stress — you have the power to improve it. This starts and ends with you. And I can tell you that I want you to take care of yourself. We all take our health for granted. Until we wake up and it’s gone.
You deserve to be healthy. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to thrive.
What do you change about your eating when you’re on vacation or traveling? Do you ever stop to ask WHY you change stuff?
It’s normal to adjust slightly as you usually don’t have access to all the same foods you have at home, or you may be on a slightly different eating schedule.
This doesn’t mean that you use it as an excuse to say “f it” and go balls out into the foods you’re avoiding or restricting that you didn’t even realize you weren’t allowing yourself. When you’re not restricting or avoiding foods regularly – you don’t have to “be naughty” and eat them when you’re “free” from your normal routine.
Still following me? Okay, so, this goes back to… yup, your thinking.
What do you think when you think about traveling for work or going on vacation? Freedom, escaping…insert your own thoughts here.
I used to plan what I was GOING TO EAT (all the things basically) when I went on vacation.
I used to make excuses why I “had” to eat the muffins at conferences.
Then I would lament that I had gained a bunch of weight!
Round and round I went. My husband used to just shake his head.
Does this sound familiar?
We stand in our own way – we tell ourselves that because of this travel, this work trip, this vacation, this death in the family, all of these circumstances are causing our overeating. Contributing to our inability to lose weight.
It begins and ends WITH YOU.
You always have the choice to eat for your goals.
Whether you’re traveling, whether you’re on vacation, whether you have an off-day, are stuck at home (or at work) during a pandemic, whether you travel for work regularly.
It all comes back to you (wherever you go, there you are, right?).
This is something we love to avoid thinking about (cuz growth ain’t always easy).
If this resonates with you – I want to invite you to schedule a call with me to discuss your goals and where you want to be in your life and how you can make that happen.
You can have the life you want – without restricting, without avoiding all of your favorite foods, without that blame-shame-guilt cycle so many of us know intimately.
I love to learn (I ought to, I have spent half my life learning).
It feels good to know, to be intrigued, to be curious. It also makes us feel like we’re doing something.
Which, we are, unless we’re learning and reading and consuming information about something (like weight loss or changing a habit) that eventually requires us to take action. C’mon, if you’ve been reading, you knew where I was going.
We need to take what we have learned, interpret it for ourselves and then apply it to our lives. Wah, wah, wah…
This is a big place where I see people get stuck (don’t worry, it takes one to know one, I’ve spent plenty of time in stuck-city myself).
It’s so easy to get stuck in the consuming phase.
The reading, learning, gathering information phase.
All under the guise of “learning”.
But at some point, we have to take that first step to applying all of it. And I can tell ya, no amount of learning is going to outweigh the learning of real life experience.
I was thinking about this while running earlier today.
I spent years consuming and learning information, about self-help, about weight loss, about life.
But it was so cozy there, and it felt so productive to keep reading and learning. Like wrapping myself up in a blanket of knowledge.
Then I had that “awww crap” moment (most likely from one of those learning tools). I actually had to do something. Nothing would change if I didn’t take any action.
And it scared the crap out of me. The unknown? To actually take action? Oh geez. Yeah, those warm and fuzzy “this is easy” books left that part out. Dang it.
So I started to take action. Again and again.
And some lessons I had to learn the hard way (by doing), multiple times.
There is a saying that you will continue to be presented with situations, challenges, etc in your life until you learn the lesson that you need to continue to move forward.
Well let me tell you – this was very true on my food journey. I was a champion of overeating. And stuffing myself until my stomach hurt. Of feeding an upset stomach (with carbs and sugary baked goods or ice cream or whatever sounded palatable at that time) and wondering why it got more upset, or why I couldn’t lose the weight that week. Or why I couldn’t eat the same way and lose my weight.
I beat myself up over it. I joked about it (duh, this is why I can’t lose weight… must be genetics… believe me, I had every excuse in the book).
I minimized it. Until one day, something shifted. I started seeing what I was doing for what it was – making excuses.
Because of what I was telling myself. It was all up to me! Those freaking books had been right all along. All that corny, woo-woo, blah blah blah, the power is “within you”… It was true. And my refusal to accept it was holding me back.
Well. That took a while to wrap my head around. But then I started to embrace it. And change my actions to be more in line with all of that learning. And things started shifting! The weight started coming off. And, since then, I have lost all of the weight. I reached my goal (30 lb total). I can maintain it easily now. I don’t worry about it.
Of course I challenge myself to continue to grow and evolve (I like a challenge, what can I say).
Now I teach other people how to find where they are stuck and help them move through it to the body and the life they love.
I know it can take time and I truly believe that everyone has their own path of growth. You may not be ready now. You may still be in your gathering and learning phase.
What I have learned is how to take that knowledge you are gathering and apply it to get to your goal.
To use it to be confident, to feel comfortable in who you are and sexy and awesome in your body. It just takes being open to changing.
You don’t have to fully believe it can happen when you start – you only have to believe it is possible.
I encourage you to ask yourself and check in. Are you learning and consuming or are you taking action toward your goal? It is easy to go down the learning path and feel like we’re changing when we’re really just consuming. It’s okay to learn and apply along the way. Just don’t forget to keep learning by doing. That is where the greatest progress is made.
You’ve got this, my friend. Go out there and believe in your possibility. Believe in yourself. I believe you can do it. If I can, everyone can too.
Changing our thoughts will change our life. Super simple, super easy. It all starts with a thought. No problemo!
As we discussed last week, recognizing that our thoughts are the culprits of our emotions can be a game changer.
We previously talked about watching your thoughts, starting to become more aware of them and choosing to look at them and change them, especially in situations where you may be upset, anxious, or scared.
We did not discuss how to change them though.
Our brains want to be tricky, they want to hide and not change.
Even thoughts about changing ANYTHING can lead to resistance. Bummer, right?
Because change is something unknown.
Our brain wants to panic, it wants to protect us, it wants us to run the other way. Avoid pain, seek pleasure, good old trusty primitive brain.
But instead, we’re asking our adult brains to lean in. To assist, to guide us.
You can see where this creates some distance between our primitive brain and our evolved, adult brain. Like parents and children, the battle wages on, but inside our heads. With every chance to change. I know, I’m exhausted just writing about it.
For my lively explanation of the 2 contrasting parts of our brain, click here.
Our brains also like to be efficient. Thinking the same type of things, doing the same thing daily. Less brain power, so to speak.
This does not serve us while we’re changing but can be very powerful after we have adjusted to a new thought or thought process.
The first step of changing our thoughts (as with everything else) is awareness. You need to know what’s not working for you or serving you.
Next, you need to decide how you want to feel. What you want to do. Where and who you want to be.
Once this is established you can get to work.
We all have the thoughts we’re thinking now that are creating our current reality and then we have to find the thoughts that will create where we want to be, what we want to do, how we want to feel.
You still with me?
Next we can create bridging or ladder thoughts to get from here to there. This is where a coach like myself will be a huge benefit as we guide you from A to B faster and more easily that you can guide yourself (remember, your brain will want you to maintain status quo). You can also endeavor this on your own, but like with a ladder you climb to paint the house… having extra support is never a bad idea.
Finally, we practice our new thoughts to reinforce them, then we choose consciously to continue to practice them until we achieve the new result and then reinforce them until we accept these new thoughts and they become automatic.
Easy peasy, right?
Go get ‘em tiger. I just gave you all the steps to change your thoughts and to change your life into what you want it to be. You’re welcome.
If you are confused, feeling stuck, or otherwise don’t think you can go it alone – email me at email@example.com and set up a time to chat about how this WILL change your life.
I wrote out a plan for years. I followed macros for years.
I know that gaining understanding of what foods work best for our bodies (especially if we have health issues that are affected by our diet intake) is super important.
But – I know I resisted planning for years and my ultimate achievement was being able to eat WITHOUT a written plan.
I feel like this is a master ninja skill.
I formulate a basic plan for the week, do my shopping, and then eat.
We do have a written menu in our kitchen for dinners during the week (so it’s easier when myself or hubby ask “what’s for dinner”… we just look and then whoever is home first makes dinner).
I also pretty much eat the same thing for lunch during my work week – which I usually prepare ahead of time on Saturday or Sunday so I can grab and go (and I usually add a piece of fruit).
I always have a backup plan in mind for every situation (which has taken years of trial and error but I know what works best for me).
So – what’s your plan?
And what is your resistance to planning (trust me, some weeks, my brain throws EVERY excuse at me)?
Starting here can help you overcome your own objections (about why you’re a special snowflake, why planning ahead shouldn’t be so hard or isn’t possible or doesn’t work, etc) and see what’s truly holding you back from achieving your goals for your healthy lifestyle.
If you want daily content that gives you food for thought, join my Facebook Group.
I used to eat emotionally all the time. Why? Because it was how I coped with life. Happy? Eat. Upset? Eat. Lonely? Eat. I went along my merry way but also lamented that I felt tired, ugly, fat, and wanted to change things but felt helpless to start or succeed. I wanted someone to show me what to do, to tell me what to do. To help me “fix” my problems.
I didn’t realize that nothing was wrong with me. I didn’t realize that I just hadn’t yet found the greatest tool of all: life coaching. Not even related to nutrition or food intake! What?
I tried multiple diets. I restricted, I counted calories, macros, did food timing, intermittent fasting, giving up whole food groups. Some of it worked temporarily. Some of it helped me keep some weight off. Sure, my habits improved, I gained nutritional knowledge, but I still felt like something was missing. I knew that there was more.
I stumbled on life coaching when I was looking for a permanent solution to my weight loss problem. I started working with a coach and she opened me up to what was missing and holding me back in my life. I dug in and have never looked back.
I lost my last 7 lb, which previously had hung like an albatross around my neck. They fell away like they were nothing.It was the mental weight I was losing.
Recently, I realized I was slipping back into some emotional eating. It snuck up on me like an old friend.
This time though, I had the skills and awareness to recognize it for what it was, acknowledge it and move past it.
With confidence. With grace and kindness. With love.
I coach busy professionals who want to stop overeating emotionally and instead enjoy their meals and love their lives.
I help you get from where you are to where you want to be in your thoughts about food, dieting, health and balance. You want to love their body. You want to confidently navigate ANY situation. I know how to help you find your true self and lose your mental weight in the process.
Schedule a call with me today to learn how to be free.
Love your body and your life. Start today.
p.s. Join my private FB group to learn more about how you can lose your mental weight by using the same skills and habits. You have nothing to lose, except your weight.