Do you believe that you’re doing life wrong if you’re not happy 100% of the time or at least the majority of the time?
Do you feel like everyone else at work, at home, on social media is always feeling great and you’re wondering what you’re doing wrong because your life is not optimal and spewing kittens and rainbows most of the time (or whatever symbols of happiness you equate with joy in your life)?
This is a common phenomenon.
What if you weren’t meant to be happy and filled with joy and optimism all the time?
What if you needed to feel the contrast of feelings and emotions in your life for there to be balance.
Would you fight so hard against sadness, hurt, anger and discomfort?
Would you allow the discomfort of difficult emotions?
What if we spent half our lives resisting the negative in our quest for the positive and we weren’t meant to?
What if we could learn to allow the uncomfortable or negative emotions and create balance in our lives.
Every feeling has its place and every feeling is temporary. No feeling lasts forever.
Does this shift anything in your mind? It did in mine.
I was pushing so hard to feel happy, to meet some impossible ideal of what I thought my life was supposed to be. This concept set me free. It gave me permission to feel everything. It still was scary at first.
It meant I wouldn’t feel great all the time. But the flip side was that when I felt negatively…that too would pass. If we’re consumed by our feelings, we think that it will never end. The good news is that it will.
It was amazing and upsetting at the same time. It also fed my cognitive desire to know why – it makes sense that without sadness, we don’t have a perspective of what happy is. The yin and the yang of life.
I realized that I want to be sad when I hear about tragedy or death. I don’t want to fight that. I want to feel it. It also helps to feel empowered and safe. Our feelings and emotions can feel big and overwhelming. They can feel unending.
If the worst we can feel is a feeling and we know that it is going to end… then what do we really have to fear or resist?
The more we resist and push against the negative emotions, the stronger the influence they have on our lives.
When we choose to allow them and see their utility and welcome the temporary nature of all feelings, we are more balanced as humans and we employ less force to push them all through.
How would your life change if you decided today to allow your uncomfortable or negative emotions and recognize them as temporary feelings in your world?