People Pleasing Liars

“Yes dear.”

I’m the one who says it most in our marriage. I freely admit it. I do it because I’m the one who prefers to avoid conflict (or a lively discussion… though that still makes me cringe internally).

I’m a recovering people pleaser. Or so I thought…

My coach recently gave me some tough love during our session.

She said “people pleasing is a lie… you’re lying about what you want in an attempt to manipulate a situation to avoid discomfort”.

It took me a few weeks to digest that one. It rocked me to my core.

This is part of what I love most about coaching.
It’s honest and loving and things like this are only said in a container that helps us grow.
I wasn’t offended, I was intrigued:
How could this be true?

So I set off to find out.
I found that I often defer to others when I haven’t really thought about what I would want. What I would like. What might upset them if I said no (even if I would rather not).

So I started experimenting. I said “no” more.

And what I found was that in saying no to someone or something else, I was saying yes to myself.

I was taking time to consider what was best for me.
Where my healthy boundary was.
Where I realized that when I said “yes” it wasn’t a resentful or partial yes, it was a resounding HELL YES. And it’s a much more fun and satisfying (and honest) way to live.

So, if this resonates with you, know that you can try this out for yourself.

There is more power in your yes or your no when it’s true for you and not trying to appease someone else.

This is especially true with eating.
Don’t say yes when you want to say no. Respect yourself, respect your boundaries and respect your health.

You’re worth it, just like I am.

Now go out there with your HELL YES and HELL NO and thrive!

Ready to smash your weight loss goals? Download your free weight loss guide to get you started.

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