I have a problem with judging and criticizing and perfectionism.
I judge myself hard. I constantly criticize, pretty much anything that’s not perfect. I’m a recovering perfectionist and people pleaser. It’s exhausting to try to be both.
So I made a decision about 18 months ago to work on both. And stop them.
Like most things…going cold turkey doesn’t work.
…And I judged myself for that too.
Perhaps you can relate?
We’re all human, judging and criticizing (whether ourselves or others), it’s learned human behavior.
I got coached recently on my self-judgment. I was frustrated that I still find myself reacting and swearing…and then I get irritated because I thought I had “fixed” that issue. And didn’t have to be ashamed that I act like a 5 year old sometimes. But I found myself judging it. Again.
I got coached on my intentions. And my love. And I was reminded that change takes consistency over time.
This is where coaching has been SO POWERFUL for me. I’m someone who likes to think I can know or find all the answers. That I don’t need outside help. Even when its apparent that I do.
The day after I got coached on this topic, I noticed a subtle shift.
Things falling out of my hand, dropping food at lunch, messing up on something at work… I was lighter, calmer, more centered.
And as I took my noon walk, I realized, I’m not judging. I’m loving myself through it. Allowing myself to learn. And be in the discomfort.
I spend hours per week coaching other people on this very thing as it relates to their body and their health. And it reinforces what I do in my own life. I was humbled today, y’all. The coaching I had, at the time, I “got” what was being said, but it took some processing. And now I’m practicing. Every day. It’s been weeks and there’s more peace and compassion now where the judgment and frustration used to be.
And I know I won’t get it right every time.
But I have that choice to love myself through the discomfort, through the failure until the new practice becomes my new habit. I’m undoing 43 years of habit. It’s taking time. It’s perfectly imperfect.
I’m loving myself and growing through it.
This is exactly what coaching can do. I highly recommend it. It helps you FEEL GOOD, even when you feel bad. Even when you think you are beyond help. Even when you feel like a total failure, even when you can’t picture that future where you love yourself NO MATTER WHAT. It’s available to you. And it can be yours, so much faster and more simply by letting someone walk with you on your journey.
I’m here when you’re ready. Without judgment. With love. In a safe space for you and where you want to grow.
Have a beautiful day my friends.
Let’s stay in touch.