the work

S’mores and crankiness 101

Feeling uncomfortable is… freaking uncomfortable! 😝

We went camping this weekend. It was a new adventure for us. We planned and executed this idea. My husband was ecstatic. I haven’t camped since I was a kid.

We made a list. We packed. We ended up forgetting our pillows because they weren’t by the front door. 🤷‍♀️ We laughed. It happens.

Then we started setting up camp. It was awkward. It was unfamiliar. I think we’ve all had that experience where something is brand new. And going through the process (in this case unpacking and setting camp up) was unfamiliar. And strange. And it’s easy to let the discomfort of this overwhelm you (I did).

And make you cranky. And want to give up. That’s how I felt after my 18th trip through each side of the car looking for 1 thing. Then repeating. Over and over.

This time though…I was consciously aware of the discomfort. And I breathed through it (not perfectly mind you…I felt a tantrum coming on… and luckily my chillaxed hubby talked me down). 🤪

And although I was uncomfortable, I also was excited.

I had two opposite feelings coexisting. And I was aware of both. Plus I felt anxious.

The point? Learning new things is uncomfortable. There will be awkwardness. The key to mastery and experience is allowing that obstacle of awkward discomfort and not letting it stop you.

Allow it, expect it, feel it, that’s how you know you’re doing it right and growing.

We had a fantastic time. S’mores and all.

I can’t wait for the next camping adventure.

You can do this with anything you want to try.

Be bold.

Try something new.

Move through that discomfort and see if you can watch your progress.

It’s amazing. 🤗

Xoxo,

Liz

Feelings

I’m happy to see some sheep on my hike

Feelings are generated by thoughts. Feelings drive our actions, and actions dictate the results in our lives.

How many times have you done something to feel a certain way? Or avoided doing something so you didn’t have to feel a certain way?

It can feel like we’re not in control of our feelings.

We think that other people can cause our feelings (good, bad or ugly).

Let’s stop one second and think about it.

If the world itself is neutral – every fact or circumstance in the world is neutral.

What causes us to feel a certain way about it? Is love amazing? Is war terrible. Most of us would agree that certain things in life can be labeled as “good” or “bad”… but is that really true? Or is a thing/event/object just a circumstance. My mentor proposes that it is. Our feelings come from our thoughts.

This is going to weird some people out. I may lose you, that’s okay – first, just think about it for a minute. Four different family members can all experience the same event (say, Thanksgiving dinner) and each one can have different thoughts, feelings and memories from that event. If that Thanksgiving dinner isn’t neutral – then every family member would have the same thoughts and feelings, right?

But they don’t.

We all experience events in life through the lens of our past experiences, expectations and beliefs. Each of our brains is individual and magnificent. And different.

So… we are in control of our own feelings. This is great news because it means we can feel however we want to, whenever we want!

There are also ideas in the world that we should always be happy or positive. That’s not what I believe.

What if we’re not meant to?

What if half of our life was positive and the other half was negative (or not positive)?

Even if someone says something to you – it doesn’t mean anything until you make it mean something to you. We can all likely agree that we want to feel angry, sad, horrified, heartbroken by certain events in our lives.

The contrast of feelings is what makes our lives human.

The ability to think and choose our feelings and interpretation of the world is also inherently human.

What feelings are you choosing to create with your thoughts this holiday season?

Be curious, watch your thoughts and check in when you discover a feeling that you weren’t expecting. I bet you learn something new!

Hey there! Let’s stay in touch.

Beliefs

Beliefs are simply thoughts that we think repetitively that become automatic.

Almost all of our beliefs as adults come from our childhood and our experiences as we grew up and became who we are today. Good, bad, or ugly, our parents and the adult figures in our lives shaped our worlds and our thoughts, beliefs and view of others.

If you’re brought up in a loving, supportive environment, you tend to be more trusting and extend love because that’s what you know and have learned.

Conversely, if you’re brought up being told that you’re no good and constantly criticized, you’ll tend to adapt that attitude toward others and yourself. It usually isn’t a conscious way of growing up.

However, then, as adults, we discover that everyone else isn’t necessarily just like us. 

Other people may be more patient, more kind, more reactive, more temperamental.

It’s human to judge everything around us. It’s how we approach our lives, it helps protect us. These are the patterns we learned as we grew.

It’s human to have good days and bad days. It’s also human to go through life never questioning our beliefs, our core values and where they came from and if they’re even true.

Think about this for a minute.

What is something you believe to be true?

Then ask yourself – is it REALLY true?

DO you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it’s true? And evaluate – how do you feel if it is true? What would you think if that idea didn’t exist? This is the essence of Byron Katie’s The Work.

Just like thoughts – beliefs are often automatic. We don’t tend to question them. We don’t think about them. We just believe them, we trust them, we only question them if they’re blocking us from something different that we want to believe.

Only then, when we’re aware of them and want to approach changing them, can we consider letting go of them.

Do you have beliefs that you’ve questioned before?

What beliefs about yourself do you have? Do they limit you? Are you curious?

Try it, let me know what happens!

Hey there! Let’s stay in touch.

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