Freedom of choice

You get a choice. Always.

Until I embraced this concept and looked for evidence in my life that it was true…I thought I didn’t. Like we all are programmed to think and believe.

Over and over I thought this. I thought I had to go to school, I have to go to work, I have to eat healthy and exercise and be a “good” girl.

It’s like there’s an unspoken “or else” in there, right?

Then it’s like the clouds parted and the sun shined down and illuminated this one thing: It’s all a lie.

You don’t HAVE TO do anything.

You take actions or don’t take them based on the results you want and don’t want.

I tend to not like the outcome of if I choose not to eat fruits and vegetables and instead dive head first into a bowl of ice cream.

I don’t feel good when I haven’t exercised in a few days.

After about 3 days maximum of not eating mostly whole foods and not moving my body and I feel tired, grouchy, and not like my normal happy self. So I choose to eat foods that nourish me, get along with my gut and also sometimes foods that entertain me.

You always have a choice.

You don’t have to get up in the morning. But you don’t like the alternative.

If you got rid of your “have to”s and replace them with “get to”s what changes for you?

Next time “have to” pops into your head, stop and evaluate how that statement feels.

Then replace it with “I get to….”. See what changes.

Change can be simple. And it starts with our choices.

When you’re ready to choose health and thriving instead of surviving and struggling, contact me to set up a free consultation so you can see how small changes like this can transform your health and your life.

You can do this. You deserve to thrive.

Who’s voice is that?

My inner voices like to argue. A lot. And sometimes it gets quite heated.

Before you come with the straight jacket, let me clarify, mmkay?

What I’m referring to is THAT inner voice. The one we assume is helpful and guides us. The voices of experience and reason. The voices of safety and protection.

Those voices can be super helpful.

But not when you’re trying to heal your relationship with food or yourself.

These voices don’t like to be told to sit down and shut up (then again, who DOES like that?).

So, like a kid being reprimanded, they often yell a little louder to make sure you can hear them.

Whose voice is the one in your head telling you what to do?

Do you have a negative Nelly or a Bossy Betty screaming at you when you take a step off your well worn path of sitting on the couch or overeating?

Do you have a guardian angel who whispers “you can do this” in your ear every time you have a doubt?

Or do you have the little red cartoon devil (I’m picturing Tom and Jerry if you must know) on your shoulder jumping up and down and screaming at you to STOP TRYING TO CHANGE.

Which voice is louder? Which voice you do direct your attention to? They’re both part of you… so technically you’re in control (even when it doesn’t feel like it).

Listening to your inner cheerleader is a learned habit. You can start today. Pick the voice coming from love not fear and choose your health.

Need help? I’m here and ready to help you. Contact me today to get started.

Stuck…stuck…. STUCK!

Christmas Story' actor reveals secret behind tongue-on-flagpole scene
A Christmas Story: the original getting stuck, I triple dog dare you to keep reading

When you feel stuck, it’s not fun.

You want to change your eating and you are determined to do it. So you do. For a day. Or half a day or a meal. And then you slip back into the old pattern that you’re determined to get rid of.

It feels impossible. You know you want to but you don’t know how.

You feel like you’re constantly fighting against yourself. And you’re tired. And it’s easier to just “give in” and eat. And especially when you feel bad, food is comforting. It allows you to escape, to numb the hurt, to fill the void, to feel better, even if it’s only for a few moments and then the hell of blame, shame, and guilt starts anew.

You’re not alone. And you always have a choice. Emotional eating is normal. It’s common to want to soothe. And it’s one of the easiest ways to find relief as a child. You’re not a kid anymore. You get to decide how you want to live. And when your emotional eating is affecting your health, you know you need a change.

There are two simple ways you can start today:

  1. Allow the emotion and start re-training your brain not to need to eat when you’re feeling uncomfortable (even though everything in your body will be screaming at you that you need to eat to relieve the pressure)
  2. Determine your triggers (most of us have specific ones), develop a plan, execute plan, then evaluate and make adjustments. Repeat.

This is one of the ways my clients learn how to move forward and heal their emotional overeating. They create better health with love, compassion, and a program tailored to their specific needs. You learn the skills, apply them, and then you will never feel helpless or stuck again.

Email me (info@thrivearena.com) to set up your free consultation.

Lies your brain tells you

All or nothing is a thought. And it’s holding you back right now.

If you decide to walk for 5 minutes per day, your brain will tell you it’s not enough.

If you decide to leave 2 bites of food on your plate per meal, your brain will tell you you’re lazy and not doing it “right”.

Your brain wants you to believe anything you do or choose has to be all or nothing.

Your brain is a liar. It doesn’t mean to be, it just wants to be efficient. This thought error keeps you stuck in inaction.

We all do this. Throughout our lives. This is our baseline protective mechanism as humans. We want to survive. Except we’re not stuck in a cave anymore.

We have the safety of our homes, our families, our jobs. We’re not making life or death choices every day anymore. Except your unconscious, emotion-driven, primitive fight-or-flight brain doesn’t know that. So your un-evolved brain runs on default and runs the show to keep discouraging you from change.

And your evolved brain is like Bambi… unsteady, weak, unable to walk well in this arena that is life, because it’s still relatively new (in evolutionary terms) and it hasn’t learned to run, jump, and thrive yet.

So what is the solution?

You train, you practice, you strengthen your evolved brain. You consciously choose. Repeatedly. And you practice changing that default idea that change = death. You build the muscle of conscious choice.

You evolve. And you find evidence that those small changes you’re making are compounding over time.

You can thrive.

You can achieve balance.

You can even have your cake and eat it too*.

*results may be typical and indicative that you’re doing it right.

When you’re ready to lose the weight, see the progress, and learn exactly how to build your choosing muscle – let’s set up a consultation where you’ll learn exactly where your mind is keeping you stuck.

To learn more about small changes, watch this short video I created just for you.

Building your mindset is just like building strength, it’s always one rep at a time

Geeking out on Goal Setting

Confession time! I geek out on goal setting.

Hells yeah I do! I even take some flack from my loved ones for it.

I set goals every year, every month and sometimes even on a weekly basis…

Yeah, I know, it do be like that.

“I’m coming out…I want the world to know…”

I wanted to share my goal making process with you so if you’re contemplating some changes and growth in the new year, you can get started NOW and be moving into 2021 like “heeeeeeeyyyyyyy”.

  1. Choose a goal and focus, make your goal measurable so you will know when you’ve achieved it. For example, don’t be vague and say “I want to lose weight in 2021“. Instead make it solid: “I want to lose 5 pounds in 30 days” or “I want to weigh 145 pounds by Feb 1st”. If you’re groaning already – dude, let me help you – message me and we can do this together (it’s always more fun with a friend).
  2. Write down all the steps you think you need to accomplish this goal. Nothing is too small or too big. Using weight loss as my example: Plan my food ahead of time, wait to feel hunger for 30 minutes before eating each meal, stop at satisfied every time I eat, check in with my hunger scale and emotions regularly, evaluate my process and plan each day before planning the next day. Take weight and measurements regularly. Celebrate my accomplishments. Set mini-goals along the way.
  3. Write down all the obstacles you can think of that would keep you from achieving your goal. As an example: 1. I eat when I’m bored, 2. I don’t always like planning ahead or I may not know what I want to eat for lunch tomorrow or what may be served at this meeting, 3. I don’t know what hubby will want to cook… etc. (you get the picture).
  4. Brainstorm and write down all of the strategies you will use and employ and try out to overcome each obstacle. This is called using your obstacles and strategies. So when they come up, you have a plan to move through them. Continuing my example: 1. I eat when I’m bored —> I will choose to feel bored and not eat and give myself a non-food reward every time this occurs or I will get up and go for a walk, or I will choose another activity to alleviate my boredom or I will ask myself why I’m bored and do some journaling to go deeper. 2. I don’t know what will served at my lunch mtg tomorrow —> I will bring my own food and eat before/after meeting or I will eat protein and veggies and fruit, etc…
  5. Take action immediately. Then, as you’re taking action toward your goal, or evaluate on a regular basis. For myself and my weight loss clients, this looks like making a food plan and then evaluating it at the end of the day. It also looks like asking “what’s going on” and checking in when we’re NOT doing our plans, following our steps or falling off the grid (this is where support and assistance is important). When you’re evaluating regularly, you can see easily what steps you can take tomorrow to move closer to your goal.
  6. Surround yourself with support and encouragement. If you have that in your family, friends, and social media communities – fantastic!! You’re already ahead of the curve. If not, consider joining us in The Thrive Arena where we’re working on and celebrating our growth daily.

And that my friends, is how you change your life and accomplish your goals. Rinse and repeat regularly for each thing that you want to change.

I highly recommend focusing on one thing at a time so that you can give it your all your full attention and all of your action. I also recommend seeking out support and/or a mentor who can support you, guide you and help you guarantee your own success. You are worth the investment in YOU.

Ready to upgrade your mindset, smash your goals, and thrive daily? Awesome sauce – click here to schedule your complimentary consult and let’s chat about how 12 weeks of focus can change your life forever.

Hey there! Let’s stay in touch.

Lessons from 2020

I had such big goals and dreams for 2020. And I didn’t achieve them. And that’s ok.

It was definitely a year of growth for me. A year of learning, of eye-opening, anxiety-inducing, dig-deep-and-see-what-is-truly-important uncomfortable growth.

The face I make when I’m uncertain…

I don’t know about you but I’ll never forget 2020. And the invaluable learning that I’ve experienced. I even made a list.

This is what 2020 taught me:

  1. The future is always uncertain. We only have control over how we think and feel. We think we know what will happen, but tomorrow is never guaranteed
  2. Business is hard… Action doesn’t equal success
  3. Health and family are most important and practicing gratitude for both keeps me focused
  4. I get to decide how I feel. About everything.
  5. Emotional eating can still appear like an old friend under extreme stress, even when I think I’ve conquered it
  6. I don’t love working out alone but I can do it if I have to (though I prefer to be around others)
  7. Exercise = stress relief
  8. My immune system is a badass mofo and focusing on my mental and emotional health & growth drove this
  9. Kindness and compassion are the keys to my mental and emotional health
  10. I can’t wait for more growth and discomfort in 2021, running headfirst into discomfort is the fastest way to grow and I like the way my growth muscles are coming in this year

What are you taking with you into 2021 from 2020?

Anything? Everything? Comment below.

Take your life from good to great, from surviving to thriving. Click here to schedule your exploration call. Learn what your future can be.

Hey there! Let’s stay in touch.

New Year, Same You

The New Year often seems like a blank slate, a clean plate, a fresh start.

We make goals, we create resolutions, we steel ourselves to “be better” and “do better”….

And this lasts for 3-4 weeks at most usually.

Then we’re back to the same-old-us.

So what can we DO differently? How do we ever change? What’s “the trick”?

My friends, we’re usually trying to will ourselves or force ourselves to change. And it doesn’t stick (as you may have noticed). Because we have the same thoughts, the same beliefs, and the same foundation. When you move into a new home, you don’t take the old foundation with you, do you?

No! Of course not, that would be silly. Yet, we often overlook that our foundation is the stability and the basis of our home. We want to build on flat, firm ground, not sliding-around, mushy, or otherwise unstable terrain.

Same thing with our brains.

We want to pour a new foundation.

This doesn’t mean we need or want to change everything. We’re like a meal that just needs a few tweaks to go from good to great. We season a little more over here and simmer more over there and voila! We’re a masterpiece.

Yes, I’m talking about cleaning out your old thoughts and beliefs. And you can’t change what you’re not aware of. Our subconscious thoughts run our lives. Until we bring them up to the surface to examine them, see if they are still helping us or if they’re holding us back. Only then can we decide (consciously, with awareness and intention) whether we want to keep them or let them go and embrace new beliefs and ideas.

Consider this New Year as a time to do some cleaning. Bring more awareness to your day-to-day activities. Decide actively if the habits and ideas that you have are leading you and allowing you to live the life you love or if you might benefit from a clean-out.

You can do this on your own easily. Take a piece of paper and a pen. Write out all the thoughts you have pertaining to your life. Then look at them. Notice that they’re all thoughts and you get to decide whether you want to allow them to be in your recipe, or if they’re tainting the stew.

Mindset work (also known as thought work) is always easier with help. Set up a time to evaluate with me and we’ll talk about where you are currently, what your goals are and let me show you where you’re stuck (so you can move forward). Knowledge is empowering. Make sure your foundation is firm before you try to build and that all of your seasoning is on point before you present your meal.

It’s time to thrive in 2021. Let’s do this. Happy New Year.

Coming in as an Emotional Ninja

I used to think my frustration, anger or sadness was going to last FOREVER. It felt SO PERMANENT in the moment. It was agony.

Then I learned that every feeling we have as humans is temporary.

Your frustration? Temporary.


Your overwhelming desire for that ice cream? Temporary.

Your love for your family? Yup. Temporary.

All feelings come and go. And we get to choose which ones we repeat. Mostly, I know, we don’t feel like we control our emotions, but we do. It’s a skill. Most of us don’t learn this until we’re at least 40-50 years old. Some of us NEVER learn it (or even see it how it’s possible).

It’s not only possible to generate MORE of the feelings that you like, that you want, that get you where you want to be; it’s also possible to not only allow the uncomfortable ones (those negative feelings that are part of our human lives), but to channel them into your growth. I call this being an emotional Ninja.

Emotional mastery is the goal, discomfort is the currency of dreams. Doesn’t that sound like fun?!

🤗🤗🤗
When you’re ready to thrive and become an emotional ninja and start allowing that discomfort so you can move forward through it – let’s connect so I can teach you how.

It doesn’t have to be scary or frustrating to navigate change. 💕

Email me at info@thrivearena.com to get started.

The wisdom of a child

Children have wisdom. And they speak their minds.

Children have honesty and love and persistence.

As we grow, we change. We learn to hide, to suppress, to shhhhhhh our emotions. If we were allowed to express them at all as kids.

Many times as adults, we wear a mask. We don’t thrive in our own selves, our true self. Our natural self. We may not even like that real self much because we’re so busy pushing it down all the time, like we’re trying to hold a beach ball under water. And occasionally our arms get tired and the ball pops back up. That’s what our emotions do too, especially when we’re always trying to shove them down, avoid them, hide from them or eliminate them.

Y’all. Children are wise. They give themselves permission to emote. To feel. To express. And they don’t care what you think.

Feeling and allowing our emotions is our natural state. And as adults, our mature, rational brain may feel uncomfortable with allowing the emotions to be along for the ride – but usually only because we’ve trained for years to suppress, avoid, and get rid of the ones that don’t feel good.

If this resonates with you – congratulations, you have a normal human brain. And there’s a better way than fighting with yourself. Especially if you feel shame around feeling. There is another way. A way back to ourselves. A way back to our feelings. A way to thrive. As an adult, as a human, to bloom in our emotional and physical health. You can do this. I can help.

(Blog) Whenever you’re ready – click here to schedule the call that will set you free.

Love please

What does choosing love look like in your life?

Does it mean taking some down time this week amidst the hustle of the holiday season?

Or does it look like pausing to take a walk, call a friend, or do more to focus on your health like going to bed earlier, stopping that negative Nelly in your head from taking over?

Every day, I’m asking myself, “what does love look like here”?

And then choosing love. Even when it means allowing fear, doubt, and insecurity along for the ride.

You can choose love. Always. It’s the best answer to fear. You can expand your emotional tool belt to let love ride shotgun.

You can do this.

I encourage you to give yourself MORE room for love today. And then drop me a comment to let me know what this looked and felt like for you! You inspire your tribe by choosing love. Be the example of what is possible. In your life and theirs.

If you want help accessing love, tapping into your growth, or building your confidence to choose boldly as you grow, click here to set up a time to talk and come up with the best plan for you.

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